CRAIG INDUCED NAUSEA

That oh-so-firm grip the religious rightwing has held on America for a number of years now has really started to loosen. No, actually, it's crumbling quickly. So fast it should make your head spin in a 360-degree counter-clockwise loop. Ah, yes, the Thousand Year Rovian Reich lasted but 8 years, and now it's a bad memory, a lesson learned to be taught to children everywhere and for latenight jokesters to use as fodder for stand-up comedy for years to come.



If you also last night has the opportunity to watch a little bit of MSNBC's "Hardball" you were probably reminded just what a weiner Chris Matthews is (he had to tell uber fool Gary Bauer that he, Matthews, 'believed' in the religious right as a group of true believers, not just people trying to make money...wasn't he sitting across from GARY BAUER who makes a pretty decent living stirring up the rubes?) when he talked about the Larry Craig story ("I'm not gay!")




Let's run through this now, a reality check for everyone who hasn't been following along at home. First, most assuredly, Sen. Craig is gayer than Charles Nelson Reilly, gayer than Rock Hudson, gayer than the entire cast of "Wigstock." Those who know him think of him only second to Rip Taylor in strength on the gay-o-meter. Flames rise off him, visible from the Beltway through the Plains States. Secondly, he'll be forced out of his job. Thirdly, the story will again continue to alienate independent voters who already can't stand the Republican Party. Fourthly, the pendulum done swung my friends. Uncle Alberto and Karl have departed. Every chair of the joint chiefs says the President is full of shit in and on Iraq. The Bush era has ended, it's just stinking as it rots in the sun on a hot day. Finally, if you belong to the religious right, we worry about you. Not about your 'soul' per se, but about your mental and sexual health. The rest of us don't seem to have such rigorous and adventurous sex lives. We really do care, and just want you to take care of your health in between bouts of speaking in tongues and picketing family planning clinics. We'd do what we can to help you to a healthier way of life that includes not kicking yourself (or scourging yourself if you belong to the more stringent branches of the Church of Rome) everytime you get the "urge to merge." In short, you have much more exciting sex lives than the rest of us, but you surrrrrre do pay for it in weird ways.



Somehow, based on Larry Craig, we don't think our concern matters. It's a masochistic thing, right? You don't get off as much unless you feel guilty about it. Yes, forbidden fruit often tastes best, so we'll just leave well enough alone and keep out of religious right reproductive and mating dances. We just wish
you well, a minimum of tears, public confessions and news conferences. You could always just walk away from the cult compound and join the rest of us in the nation getting by (and getting off) just fine without the guilt trip.



We're happy with your guilt. At least we don't have to manage it, and when it does get the best of you, it's damned entertaining! Just re-rack the Craig news conference. That'll keep us snickering for days.



We wonder if the Right Rev. Floyd knew about Craig when he wrote that "Gay Agenda" book of his a few years ago.



Alright, enough of that. A passing to note today..the death of Hilly Kristal, founder of CBGB in NYC. Most of us consider the now defunct club one of the cradles of punk music. Hilly was 70-something and his son says he died of cancer.



Rest in Peace, Hilly. In your honor, a vid clip from one of the groups who grew up with the club.



Ladies and Gentlemen, the world's greatest group, the Ramones, playing "Blitzkrieg Bop" at CBGB circa 1977.